My first ectopic baby was such a blessing because she taught me to wait on God, even in the face of death. I think so many times about what would have happened if I had allowed fear to rule me. I would have missed out on seeing God work, and I would have always wondered why God allowed that to happen to me. I believe our faith grows when we witness God at work.
Think of how the Israelites must have felt before they crossed the Red Sea. Do you think they knew the Red Sea was about to open up? Could they have even imagined such a glorious escape?
No…they were terrified and expected to die soon, wondering why on earth they had come this far to die.
“And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord…”
One moment all they can see is their certain death. The next moment, the sea opened up to them and they walked through on dry land. On the other side, they watched as their enemies entered the corridor to pursue them, only to be swallowed up by the sea and disappear. How often do we miss out on seeing God work in our lives because we allow our fear to dictate our actions? I know I nearly did.
I thought I had faith, but I’d never had to wait on God while facing death. I’m not a brave person or even a calm person. I tend to panic when faced with danger. So it was not easy for me to keep refusing “treatment” when I was pregnant with my first ectopic baby. I literally trembled with fear. At nearly 10 weeks, my ectopic finally showed up on an ultrasound “on or near” my right ovary. All my hopes were dashed to pieces. They told me she had most likely died weeks before. There was no baby to be seen, just a mass, which looked a lot like an ovarian cyst to me.
I became like the Israelites before the sea opened up. God was being strangely silent, the pain was getting worse, and I felt I was out of time. I let my fears get the best of me. I told my doctor that I wanted surgery, and to ensure this didn’t happen again, I told him to remove both tubes. (As if that would really remove all risk of ectopic. I was playing God.) Relieved by my choice, he left the room to schedule my surgery. While he was gone, I started to have doubts, something that always seems to happen when I make a choice before I hear from God. While waiting, I called my husband to discuss my doubts with him. What if the doctor was wrong, and I inadvertently killed my child by having the surgery? What if God had other plans; I still didn’t know! My husband and I felt we needed to wait on an answer from God before we could proceed with anything. I had been this close to missing out on seeing the sea open up before me.
That very day, we prayed and God finally answered us. I learned that he had heard my cries, I would be healed, and that I would receive confirmation in 3 days. The next morning when I awoke, the pain was gone. On the third day, just as promised, I received confirmation of God’s salvation at my doctor’s appointment. I learned that that my beta levels had dropped by 30%. Sadly, my baby didn’t make it, but it was proof that I was being saved. The placenta was shrinking, relieving pressure and pain. Over the next several weeks my blood hormone levels were monitored to ensure that the placenta was indeed continuing to shrink. Meanwhile, I processed everything and came to understand why God had allowed this to happen. First of all, it was for his glory. In other words, everyone involved who saw what he did couldn’t help but come away thinking “God is loving. God is able.” It also taught me to wait on the Lord. In the past, if God didn’t work on my schedule, I doubted that he was working in my life at all. Now I know better.
God wants me to tell you that no matter what decisions you have to make in life, he can make them for you if you will trust him. Can you wait on his answer? He loves you and knows everything. Therefore, his ways are always best. We only have the peace we seek when we trust him.
I leave you with these words that God wants me to share with you today, “Be still and know that I am God.”
Ectopic Baby Hope 
I needed this post more than anything today. I had my tubes tied 6 years ago after our 4th child was born. We had very sick babies that were all pre-mature and at the time we felt we made a selfless decision not to bring anymore sick babies into the world. In the last year we have gone through a period of repentance. We have just asked the Lord to forgive for placing this decision in our own hands. Well, through this repentance the Lord blessed us with life again. We found out this last Monday that we are expecting. This is by 1% chance that this could happen and we just knew that this was a miracle from God. I had more blood drawn today and I was told that my numbers dropped from 113 to 110 and was recommended from the doctor to get the shot that dissolves the pregnancy as they “SUSPECT” an ectopic pregnancy. I declined the shot as I am not in any pain or having any bleeding. I am not sure what to think about the numbers dropping. I am waiting on God as this point. I know that HE will make it very clear if that is what is happening, I am praying that if the pregnancy is viable that those numbers would rise before the next blood test. I know the Dr thought I was crazy. He treated me as if I was in denial and hoped to save something that wouldn’t be. We have been blessed with the 4 we have and have much peace that if this one shall go home, then the God we serve will bring baby home. It is hard to explain that to an unbelieving Dr that thinks I am putting my life at risk, but I just couldn’t take “suspected ectopic pregnancy” as proof. I am too early for an ultrasound (only 2 weeks according to the dr Monday). I believe without a doubt that God is the creator of life, and He will give it and He will take it away. Thank you so much for this encouraging post!
Deanna, I’m sorry I’m just now responding to your post. As you may have noticed, I have not done anything with this blog since its creation. I hope you are doing okay.
Thanks for sharing this.
Over the passed week I have been given the same decision that you too have faced. There is no evidence of a gestational sac anywhere; however, I am being encouraged to dissolve my pregnancy out of fear of an ectopic pregnancy. The Lord told my husband 8 months ago that we would have a daughter. 3 months ago, I miscarried our son, Isaiah at 17 weeks. We are still believing God’s promise for us. However, this morning while praying and talking with my husband, I was struggling so much. The Lord clearly led me to this article. I want to see the Red Sea part before my eyes! I want to feel the dry land on my feet as I cross where there was water moments before. I am choosing to be still and know that He is God! Thank you for allowing Him to work through you!
Jessica, I am so sorry to hear that you lost your son Isaiah. I lost my first child at 13 weeks and that was hard enough. Your son’s name means The LORD is Salvation. Perhaps that is prophetic for you in this season. I will start praying for you day and night that the LORD parts the Red Sea for you and your husband soon. You are welcome to email me personally if you like.
I covet all prayers! Today, they found the sac. It is nestled right in my c-section scar. Medically, it is considered ectopic and we have once again been told the best thing is to dissolve the pregnancy. I am unwavering in my conviction regarding life, so I wait and I trust in Him. Every time we have gone to the doctor (which has been every other day for a week) the doctor’s expectations have been so wrong. The Lord if clearly showing Himself to the doctor. It’s so beautiful.
The Lord gave me Isaiah’s name 2 weeks before I miscarried. It was such a blessing to know than his sweet little life carried the Lord’s promise.
I would have emailed, but didn’t see it. 🙂
Is the baby on the outside of the uterus on the scar, or are you saying it is embedded in the scar itself?
I will keep praying. You can email me at ectopicbabyhope@gmail.com